Seasonal Affective Disorder

I'm SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) or I guess I have SAD. The acronym is almost too cute isn't it? Anyway, in case you don't live in the arctic mid-North like I do and don't know what SAD is. It's depression linked to the weather. Some people actually get Summer SAD. Can't imagine that but it must just as miserable.

I've had SAD for so many years that now I recognize it. Usually about February, I start hating everything, my hair, my house, my clothes, my body, my life. I don't want to leave the house. I'm lethargic and apathetic. I let the housework go because it's too much trouble. I get agitaged with the kids very easily. I feel overwhelmed by everything. Overall, I'm just miserable.

This year my seasonal depression has kicked into overdrive much earlier. I think that maybe the nine continuous days of snow may have had something to do with that. I definitely feel a lightening of my mood when it's sunny. It doesn't even have to be warm, although that's nice too. Yesterday it was like driving full speed into a solid brick wall on a motorcycle. It took everything I had not to cry all day long. Nothing in particular was bothering me. I just felt like crying.

By now, you are thinking, "What does this have to do with homeschooling?" Well, first off, this is my blog and I can write whatever I want and I needed to get this off my chest. That being said, before I started working, I would succumb to my SAD. I would tell people we school from March to November because I don't leave the house in the Winter and it was true. Since I've started working (see the blog theme developing now?), I find that I have to push through a lot of my SAD symptoms and keep going. I don't have the "luxury?" of curling up on the couch in my jammies all day. It also means that on my days off there are things that have to be done. Trips to the grocery, library, play dates, field trips. Since family time is limited I feel that I need to optimize the time I do have with my kids. I can't put off grocery shopping to another day because I have to go to work. I can't let the laundry lapse because we all need to get dressed and actually leave the house.

I'm still contemplating on whether this is a good thing or not. It's definitely good that I'm getting out of the house and working through things, but I wonder if in the end or middle in this case, it amplifies other symptoms that I can't control so easily.

So are you thinking, this woman is completely nuts? I am, but has very little to do with my depression. I don't medicate because I feel that anti-depressants are very hard on the body. I think for more long-term usage they are wonderful things, but for short-term SAD, it's too much. I have looked into light therapy and I'm pretty sure that next year I'm getting a light box. Our insurance won't pay for it, so I'm going to save my pennies. I'm really interested in dawn simulators. I think that's where I'll start. This year however, finances have just not allowed, so you are stuck with my diatribe. Hopefully, next year's entry at this time will be all about how wonderful the dawn simulator is and how much better I feel.

Here's to sunshine and warmer temperatures. Spring is only 58 days away.