Seasonal Affective Disorder

I'm SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) or I guess I have SAD. The acronym is almost too cute isn't it? Anyway, in case you don't live in the arctic mid-North like I do and don't know what SAD is. It's depression linked to the weather. Some people actually get Summer SAD. Can't imagine that but it must just as miserable.

I've had SAD for so many years that now I recognize it. Usually about February, I start hating everything, my hair, my house, my clothes, my body, my life. I don't want to leave the house. I'm lethargic and apathetic. I let the housework go because it's too much trouble. I get agitaged with the kids very easily. I feel overwhelmed by everything. Overall, I'm just miserable.

This year my seasonal depression has kicked into overdrive much earlier. I think that maybe the nine continuous days of snow may have had something to do with that. I definitely feel a lightening of my mood when it's sunny. It doesn't even have to be warm, although that's nice too. Yesterday it was like driving full speed into a solid brick wall on a motorcycle. It took everything I had not to cry all day long. Nothing in particular was bothering me. I just felt like crying.

By now, you are thinking, "What does this have to do with homeschooling?" Well, first off, this is my blog and I can write whatever I want and I needed to get this off my chest. That being said, before I started working, I would succumb to my SAD. I would tell people we school from March to November because I don't leave the house in the Winter and it was true. Since I've started working (see the blog theme developing now?), I find that I have to push through a lot of my SAD symptoms and keep going. I don't have the "luxury?" of curling up on the couch in my jammies all day. It also means that on my days off there are things that have to be done. Trips to the grocery, library, play dates, field trips. Since family time is limited I feel that I need to optimize the time I do have with my kids. I can't put off grocery shopping to another day because I have to go to work. I can't let the laundry lapse because we all need to get dressed and actually leave the house.

I'm still contemplating on whether this is a good thing or not. It's definitely good that I'm getting out of the house and working through things, but I wonder if in the end or middle in this case, it amplifies other symptoms that I can't control so easily.

So are you thinking, this woman is completely nuts? I am, but has very little to do with my depression. I don't medicate because I feel that anti-depressants are very hard on the body. I think for more long-term usage they are wonderful things, but for short-term SAD, it's too much. I have looked into light therapy and I'm pretty sure that next year I'm getting a light box. Our insurance won't pay for it, so I'm going to save my pennies. I'm really interested in dawn simulators. I think that's where I'll start. This year however, finances have just not allowed, so you are stuck with my diatribe. Hopefully, next year's entry at this time will be all about how wonderful the dawn simulator is and how much better I feel.

Here's to sunshine and warmer temperatures. Spring is only 58 days away.

Belly Button Fuzz and Toe Jam

I had to share. My children are slightly warped and totally wonderful. I guess that's what happens when they have me for a mother.

Anyway, with my great new smart phone, you can search the Internet from anywhere. DD#1 is in the car with me last Friday, we started talking about ear wax (that's how our family works, go figure). She wanted to google it. So, being the great unschooling mother that I am, I have her free reign to explore what interested her. She found FAQs on ear wax. She read up on cleaning your ears. She found out why we have ear wax. Then she decided to move on to other bodily gunk. She googled belly button fuzz. She discovered a band called Belly Button Fuzz (www.bellybuttonfuzz.com) and several other references to belly button fuzz, but no FAQs. Then she moved on to toe jam. We now know you can't spread that on toast!

This is the great part of child-led learning. We give our children the freedom to explore whatever grabs their attention. I didn't tell her she'd have to wait to learn it in a book. She practiced some research skills. Don't tell her that though. Most importantly, we had fun and were silly together. As she gets older, I feel like that happens less and less. My baby girl has always been a little grown-up, all serious and introspective. I love when we get to play.

Work or Snow Day?

Some days, it's really hard to be a responsible adult. Have you ever noticed that?

We have maybe 3 or 4 inches of new snow on the ground and most of it swirling around in the air. The high temp. is supposed 17 dropping to a toasty 5. The city streets are covered in snow and it is just generally nasty outside. Today is one of my 3 work days. I don't wanna go!

Now I'm in the midst of an internal struggle. The responsible working girl in me says get your fanny dressed and get to work like an adult. The mom and inner child says it's a snow day and it's cold outside so let's stay in and drink hot chocolate and play games.

This is the slow season in our office so I don't have a ton of things waiting for me, but I still feel obligated. My boss makes it worse but leaving it up to me. He called the agents and told them to stay home. My husband tells me to stay home, as he's speaking to me from his office 42 miles away. Apparently it's OK for him to risk life and limb to drive to work in a near blizzard but not for me to go 4 miles.

Right this minute, I've compromised and I'm working from home. I'm feeling more and more like staying home is the best choice for today. It's really hard to maintain the balance.

Calendars

OK, so I have my great new smart phone. I LOVE it! I post activities on my calendar at work, that syncs with my yahoo calendar which then syncs with my outlook at home and the I sync the whole mess to my phone. You'd think with all that synchronization that I would know what I was doing...NOPE!

Today I finally had time to sit down at home and sync all 4 calendars (which was the point of the phone in the first place). Am I ever sorry I did that! I knew we were busy, I didn't realize how busy until I started writing it all down. OMG! No wonder I'm exhausted all the time. I have one free weekend before Christmas and I'm quite certain that it won't last long. We haven't gotten the children's choir performance schedule or the date for the church Christmas program so that will probably fill that weekend right up.

I cannot begin to describe how totally overwhelmed I am by all that we have going on. On second thought, maybe this phone thing wasn't such a good idea!

~Carol who is now too exhausted to type anymore!

Smartphones?

Ok, I'm officially a technogeek. Or I will be when I learn to use my new phone.

I decided a couple of months ago that I cannot keep track of everything going on in our lives in my head anymore. It's just too much for my feeble brain to handle: Girl Scouts, choir, babysitting, dinner dates, hubby's work schedule, my work schedule, playdates, parties, birthdays, bi-weekly recycling, dr. appts., vet appts. homeschool group activities, family dinners, the list goes on!

I felt my best option was a very used PDA. Well, 5 mins. on e-bay told me that wasn't a good idea, not the deal I was expecting. So I decided to drop a hint to DH. I figured since he works in the cell phone industry that he could get us a good deal on a PDA phone. No need to carry more gadgets than necessary.

Well for our 15th wedding anniversary I got a PDA phone, also known as a smartphone. I've discovered that the phone may very well be smarter than it's user. DH brought it home and started showing me all the cool things it does. I have Mobile Excel, Word and PowerPoint. It has a calendar, my contacts list, e-mail, text messaging, internet access, a 2 MegaPixel camera. I can even play solitare. I had to ask DH if I could make a phone call! I can but the clarity on the phone is sort of crummy. LOL, go figure.

Anywhoo, I now have all my appointments at my fingertips. Actually, while I haven't tried, I can probably blog from the phone too. Maybe that will be my next entry. Then, I will totally be in geekdom!

I'm BAAAAACK!

Well, here I am again. I didn't realize that it had been 2 months since I had written. We have been so busy. We finished up the soccer season. #2 had really good coaches this season we enjoyed it very much.

Work has been very busy, which is good considering the economy.

My mom came for a visit which is always fun.

We enjoyed the warm Fall weather so much. I'm hating the fact that it's getting cold and dismal.

Now that I'm back in the blogosphere, I will be more diligent about posting.

Take care all!
Carol

Where were you when...

the plane crashed into the first tower?

I was sitting on my couch watching TV. I was pregnant with #3 and had a doctor's appointment that morning. I was watching Good Morning America (how's that for irony?). Since we are in the Central time zone, I was watching the recorded second hour when they broke in live with the news. I called DH into the living room. He noticed that the second plane crashed before the newscasters did. We watched live as the buildings fell.

I was supposed to go to my grandparent's house in Missouri a couple of weeks later. I called my grandma and asked her if she thought I should come. In her no nonsense way, she said, "Do you want to come?" I remember feeling like I needed to decide if I was going to die, did I want to be with my mom and grandparents or my husband (who had to stay home and work). It was a terrible feeling.

Then my husband was working in a mall when the threat came that they would going to bomb malls. I figured ours was safe, there is rarely more than 20 people in our mall, ever. It was just such an emotional time.

My heart still breaks for the families who lost loved ones, on the planes, in the towers, civilians and rescue personnel.

I am amazed at how much one day changes the world.

Remembering how much was lost....