Seasonal Affective Disorder

I'm SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) or I guess I have SAD. The acronym is almost too cute isn't it? Anyway, in case you don't live in the arctic mid-North like I do and don't know what SAD is. It's depression linked to the weather. Some people actually get Summer SAD. Can't imagine that but it must just as miserable.

I've had SAD for so many years that now I recognize it. Usually about February, I start hating everything, my hair, my house, my clothes, my body, my life. I don't want to leave the house. I'm lethargic and apathetic. I let the housework go because it's too much trouble. I get agitaged with the kids very easily. I feel overwhelmed by everything. Overall, I'm just miserable.

This year my seasonal depression has kicked into overdrive much earlier. I think that maybe the nine continuous days of snow may have had something to do with that. I definitely feel a lightening of my mood when it's sunny. It doesn't even have to be warm, although that's nice too. Yesterday it was like driving full speed into a solid brick wall on a motorcycle. It took everything I had not to cry all day long. Nothing in particular was bothering me. I just felt like crying.

By now, you are thinking, "What does this have to do with homeschooling?" Well, first off, this is my blog and I can write whatever I want and I needed to get this off my chest. That being said, before I started working, I would succumb to my SAD. I would tell people we school from March to November because I don't leave the house in the Winter and it was true. Since I've started working (see the blog theme developing now?), I find that I have to push through a lot of my SAD symptoms and keep going. I don't have the "luxury?" of curling up on the couch in my jammies all day. It also means that on my days off there are things that have to be done. Trips to the grocery, library, play dates, field trips. Since family time is limited I feel that I need to optimize the time I do have with my kids. I can't put off grocery shopping to another day because I have to go to work. I can't let the laundry lapse because we all need to get dressed and actually leave the house.

I'm still contemplating on whether this is a good thing or not. It's definitely good that I'm getting out of the house and working through things, but I wonder if in the end or middle in this case, it amplifies other symptoms that I can't control so easily.

So are you thinking, this woman is completely nuts? I am, but has very little to do with my depression. I don't medicate because I feel that anti-depressants are very hard on the body. I think for more long-term usage they are wonderful things, but for short-term SAD, it's too much. I have looked into light therapy and I'm pretty sure that next year I'm getting a light box. Our insurance won't pay for it, so I'm going to save my pennies. I'm really interested in dawn simulators. I think that's where I'll start. This year however, finances have just not allowed, so you are stuck with my diatribe. Hopefully, next year's entry at this time will be all about how wonderful the dawn simulator is and how much better I feel.

Here's to sunshine and warmer temperatures. Spring is only 58 days away.

Belly Button Fuzz and Toe Jam

I had to share. My children are slightly warped and totally wonderful. I guess that's what happens when they have me for a mother.

Anyway, with my great new smart phone, you can search the Internet from anywhere. DD#1 is in the car with me last Friday, we started talking about ear wax (that's how our family works, go figure). She wanted to google it. So, being the great unschooling mother that I am, I have her free reign to explore what interested her. She found FAQs on ear wax. She read up on cleaning your ears. She found out why we have ear wax. Then she decided to move on to other bodily gunk. She googled belly button fuzz. She discovered a band called Belly Button Fuzz (www.bellybuttonfuzz.com) and several other references to belly button fuzz, but no FAQs. Then she moved on to toe jam. We now know you can't spread that on toast!

This is the great part of child-led learning. We give our children the freedom to explore whatever grabs their attention. I didn't tell her she'd have to wait to learn it in a book. She practiced some research skills. Don't tell her that though. Most importantly, we had fun and were silly together. As she gets older, I feel like that happens less and less. My baby girl has always been a little grown-up, all serious and introspective. I love when we get to play.

Work or Snow Day?

Some days, it's really hard to be a responsible adult. Have you ever noticed that?

We have maybe 3 or 4 inches of new snow on the ground and most of it swirling around in the air. The high temp. is supposed 17 dropping to a toasty 5. The city streets are covered in snow and it is just generally nasty outside. Today is one of my 3 work days. I don't wanna go!

Now I'm in the midst of an internal struggle. The responsible working girl in me says get your fanny dressed and get to work like an adult. The mom and inner child says it's a snow day and it's cold outside so let's stay in and drink hot chocolate and play games.

This is the slow season in our office so I don't have a ton of things waiting for me, but I still feel obligated. My boss makes it worse but leaving it up to me. He called the agents and told them to stay home. My husband tells me to stay home, as he's speaking to me from his office 42 miles away. Apparently it's OK for him to risk life and limb to drive to work in a near blizzard but not for me to go 4 miles.

Right this minute, I've compromised and I'm working from home. I'm feeling more and more like staying home is the best choice for today. It's really hard to maintain the balance.

Calendars

OK, so I have my great new smart phone. I LOVE it! I post activities on my calendar at work, that syncs with my yahoo calendar which then syncs with my outlook at home and the I sync the whole mess to my phone. You'd think with all that synchronization that I would know what I was doing...NOPE!

Today I finally had time to sit down at home and sync all 4 calendars (which was the point of the phone in the first place). Am I ever sorry I did that! I knew we were busy, I didn't realize how busy until I started writing it all down. OMG! No wonder I'm exhausted all the time. I have one free weekend before Christmas and I'm quite certain that it won't last long. We haven't gotten the children's choir performance schedule or the date for the church Christmas program so that will probably fill that weekend right up.

I cannot begin to describe how totally overwhelmed I am by all that we have going on. On second thought, maybe this phone thing wasn't such a good idea!

~Carol who is now too exhausted to type anymore!

Smartphones?

Ok, I'm officially a technogeek. Or I will be when I learn to use my new phone.

I decided a couple of months ago that I cannot keep track of everything going on in our lives in my head anymore. It's just too much for my feeble brain to handle: Girl Scouts, choir, babysitting, dinner dates, hubby's work schedule, my work schedule, playdates, parties, birthdays, bi-weekly recycling, dr. appts., vet appts. homeschool group activities, family dinners, the list goes on!

I felt my best option was a very used PDA. Well, 5 mins. on e-bay told me that wasn't a good idea, not the deal I was expecting. So I decided to drop a hint to DH. I figured since he works in the cell phone industry that he could get us a good deal on a PDA phone. No need to carry more gadgets than necessary.

Well for our 15th wedding anniversary I got a PDA phone, also known as a smartphone. I've discovered that the phone may very well be smarter than it's user. DH brought it home and started showing me all the cool things it does. I have Mobile Excel, Word and PowerPoint. It has a calendar, my contacts list, e-mail, text messaging, internet access, a 2 MegaPixel camera. I can even play solitare. I had to ask DH if I could make a phone call! I can but the clarity on the phone is sort of crummy. LOL, go figure.

Anywhoo, I now have all my appointments at my fingertips. Actually, while I haven't tried, I can probably blog from the phone too. Maybe that will be my next entry. Then, I will totally be in geekdom!

I'm BAAAAACK!

Well, here I am again. I didn't realize that it had been 2 months since I had written. We have been so busy. We finished up the soccer season. #2 had really good coaches this season we enjoyed it very much.

Work has been very busy, which is good considering the economy.

My mom came for a visit which is always fun.

We enjoyed the warm Fall weather so much. I'm hating the fact that it's getting cold and dismal.

Now that I'm back in the blogosphere, I will be more diligent about posting.

Take care all!
Carol

Where were you when...

the plane crashed into the first tower?

I was sitting on my couch watching TV. I was pregnant with #3 and had a doctor's appointment that morning. I was watching Good Morning America (how's that for irony?). Since we are in the Central time zone, I was watching the recorded second hour when they broke in live with the news. I called DH into the living room. He noticed that the second plane crashed before the newscasters did. We watched live as the buildings fell.

I was supposed to go to my grandparent's house in Missouri a couple of weeks later. I called my grandma and asked her if she thought I should come. In her no nonsense way, she said, "Do you want to come?" I remember feeling like I needed to decide if I was going to die, did I want to be with my mom and grandparents or my husband (who had to stay home and work). It was a terrible feeling.

Then my husband was working in a mall when the threat came that they would going to bomb malls. I figured ours was safe, there is rarely more than 20 people in our mall, ever. It was just such an emotional time.

My heart still breaks for the families who lost loved ones, on the planes, in the towers, civilians and rescue personnel.

I am amazed at how much one day changes the world.

Remembering how much was lost....

High School Musical

OK, so if you have a daughter between the age of 6 and 18 you've probably at least heard about the High School Musical franchise phenomenon. (HSM to it's friends) The latest installment was HSM: Get in the Picture on ABC. It was an American Idol style show to cast the next great Disney star for an appearance in HSM 3. Of course, we had to watch. How could we not?

I was actually and surprisingly impressed by several things about this series.

First off, they did their best not to exploit these kids. It was very Disney. No really obvious catty-ness. The contestants' last names were never divulged protecting their privacy - as much privacy as you get after you've been on a nationally televised series. They were kind to the kids "voted off" and gave them additional training in the chorus.

All the contestants were very talented and great performers. I was shocked by the winner, a 17 year old boy named Stan. He was good but I didn't think he was the best. I'm hoping that Tierney finds her niche in the performing arts, if that's what she chooses, because she was amazing, beautiful, kind and very unassuming. She'll probably be eaten alive in the music business.

One of the contestants was a homeschooler. She was an excellent example of how "normal" homeschooled students are. She was very into the HSM movies and dressing trendy. She fit in just fine with this group of mostly publicly schooled students. Sadly, she was one of the first finalist sent to the chorus, but she was there and made her mark all the same. She seemed very mature.

Now I just have to wait for my girls to overcome the devastation of Stan's win and Tierney's loss.

Newspaper Article

Well, the article was published today. It focused more on a couple of families that are using the virtual charter schools which is OK with me. We know the families and they are great. I think the article was fair to them too.

My mom says that the last sentence about our family couldn't be more accurate. I'm going to make you read it to find out what it says. I don't know how long the link will be active, but here ya' go!

http://www.heraldargus.com/main.asp?SectionID=4&subsectionID=4&articleID=122591

Bad Morning

To be completely fair to my family and my readers, I feel like I have to share the bad with the good. Today we had a BAD start to our day. DD #2 is 8 and 3/4. She has always been a high need child, ALWAYS. She has always been very emotional and sort of volatile. She's a lot like her mother, poor thing.

So last week she had a whining fit in the middle of the grocery store and I decided I couldn't take it anymore. I have some how given her the impression that this is acceptable and it's definitely not. I have taken drastic measures to remedy this behavior and step 1 was taking away fun activities. Today is the first day of gymnastics class, and guess who is not participating! She refused to get dressed this morning and cried and whined some more until she lost gymnastics for the whole month. (This is a fantastic homeschool gymnastics program that we pay for on a monthly basis and has open enrollment.) I finally ended up calling her dad to motivate her to get dressed and stop the whining.

DD#1 is 10 and is known far and wide for her lollygagging skills. She was dressed and ready to go, except for her shoes. She's coloring with DS at the dining table while #2 is having her fit in her room. I tell them to make sure they are ready to leave when their sister is dressed. We are ready to walk out the door when #1 says, "Just a minute." We had to wait for her to get her shoes on.

THEN, as we are heading out the door, the dog escapes to the front porch. As we are attempting to corral the dog back in the house, one of the kittens escapes. So I'm pushing the dog in the house, holding a squirming squalling 4 mth old kitten in one hand while #1 stands in the doorway!!! Honestly, its a small miracle that any of us even got out of the house today. I managed to make it to the office right on time. Whew!

On the way to work I kept thinking that there would be many missed busses in our lives if we were a public school family. We have quite a bit of flexibility in our morning and we still barely make it most days. Thankfully I have a very tolerant boss who doesn't watch the clock too closely.

I am also extremely grateful that DH was available to talk #2 down and get her moving. I had lost all patience and would not have been a pretty person. Definitely not the kind of mother I've always wanted to be.

Off to work and learn something new!

Well I did it again!

I just finished another newspaper interview. This is the second newspaper article we have taken part in. I always have some apprehension that I will be misquoted or taken out of context or worse yet, look like the fool that I am. The reporter called me at the office so I had the added stress that someone would need me while I was on the phone and the distraction of the office activity.

The article is supposed to be published on Thursday. I'll let you know how that goes.

You would think that I would feel like an old pro by now, but I surely don't!

Waiting with bated breath and a pain in my chest!

Getting Started

OK, here I go. This is my first attempt at blogging. I hope someone will read it!

I've been thinking about blogging for a while because our family seems to have a unique situation. We are homeschoolers, unschoolers at that but I work part-time and my husband works full-time. This is rather unusual for homeschoolers.

Heck, even unschooling is slightly unusual for homeschoolers. This is a lifestyle choice for us, not an educational choice. We believe that our children learn best by living life, hence the title of my blog. We have amazing children who have insights into life that we could never teach them. We are doing our best to impart the desire to learn and expand their horizons. We don't want them to lose their curiosity.

So unschoolers with two working parents are pretty much outside the norm all the way around. I'm used to being "abnormal." I've spent most of my adult life not fitting in. I kind of like it that way.

I'm hoping that my wild rambings will help someone else to feel a little less "abnormal." If I can provide some support to anyone then my musings have a purpose.

So strap yourself in and enjoy the wild ride that is our life!